To be so Fortunate

I have never really cared for the taste of fortune cookies, but the fortunes themselves I love! I have been keeping fortunes for quite awhile now because trust me, the ones I get are worth re-reading. I attract the strangest, off-the-wall fortunes you can imagine so I thought I would share some of them with you...

"A clean tie attracts the soup of the day"

(True if you are my father)

"A man best possession is a sympathetic wife"

(Yes, it does say MAN not man's and POSSESSION?! Hello what are we, cattle?)

"You are the center of every group attention"

(How did they know!?)

"To be beautiful externally is like a glass rose; one false move and it can crack"

(Why would a glass rose be making any false moves? Such sage advice...)

"Some fortune cookies contain no fortune"

(Seriously. That's what it says. And if that is the point they wanted 

to make wouldn't the slip of paper just be blank instead?)

"Flies don't enter a closed mouth"

(Then on the reverse side where it is supposed to give you a word in both English and

Chinese it has the same fortune translated into SPANISH....????

Think I am kidding? Here it is: "Las moscas no entran una boca cerrada")

"A feather in the hand is better than a bird in the air"

(Whaaaaaaaat.............?)

So there you have just a taste of the absolutely ridiculous fortunes that find their way into my hands.

JORDAN