- In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors."
- Specify that your drive-through order is "TO-GO."
- If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
- Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
- Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
- Reply to everything someone says with "that's what you think."
- Practice making fax and modem noises.
- Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
- Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."
- Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears and grimacing.
- Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
- Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
- Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a croaking noise.
- Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints at the cash register.
- Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
- Repeat the following conversation a dozen times.
"DO YOU HEAR THAT?"
"What?"
"Never mind, it's gone now." - As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
- Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "No, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
- Ask people what gender they are.
- Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
- Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
- Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."
JORDAN
haha these are hilarious! Love them!
ReplyDeleteum, this is something i taped in journals when i was in 7th grade. does that mean those were the best years of our lives?
ReplyDeletethese made me laugh! i want to do some, but i think i will laugh too hard just trying!
ReplyDelete